Last-minute costume ideas here

Want your child to be unique and relevant all at once? Well, put down that Spider-Man mask and save the Cinderella gown for next year.

Instead, take you kid door-to-door in one of these ensembles. Pay special attention to those homes that boast a Bush-Cheney support sign on the chemically-treated lawns. Lawns that must conceal some frightening secrets. Lawns where they must have buried their hearts, brains and souls to be voting for the most nefarious duo in America's history. Lawns where these voters will soon tred to uproot the signs in defeat after Bush-Cheney lose on Nov. 2, as they deserve.

Consider my optimism your treat in lieu of mini candybars. It's healthier for you and, oh yes, America's future.